Category Archives: Death and Grief

“Terminal”

Last Sunday morning marked the first morning that I stepped into the leadership role for the Sunday morning service at Word of Life Church.  I have been an Associate Pastor at Word of Life with Senior Pastor Cesar Minera and Pastor Otto Kelly the past few years.  During this time, I have shared life with the Pastors and the diverse community of people we have the blessed opportunity to love and serve.    My primary role has been to work with the leadership team to plan ministry activities, to set priorities for the ministry, lead and organize our life groups, and deliver a message every four to six weeks.

This year, due to Pastor Otto and Joy taking a sabbatical, my role has expanded to lead the Sunday morning services.  I am excited to see what God is going to do with our little gathering of believers over the coming year as we seek to bring Him joy, encourage, edify and support one another, and love one another and all those He gives us to love and serve each week.

My blog has been dormant the last few years due to the fact that I could never seem to make time to write and post.  Now, I will be blogging at least weekly as way to make the messages I deliver from Sunday to Sunday available to those interested in digging deeper into what is spoken about and/or who want to share the messages delivered with friends and family.

In this blog post, I am providing you with the message I delivered last Sunday titled “Terminal.”  I don’t know how many Pastors begin their tenure with a congregation by reminding everyone in attendance they are going to die, but that is exactly what I did.  “The message I have to deliver today is that we are all going to die,” I stated as a matter of fact with confidence and clarity.  Rarely, in all the messages I have given, have I ever uttered something that I was so absolutely certain about and that I knew no one could dispute.  However, the mystery of how this truth might be applied to such things as why we gather on Sunday morning and what we should be doing when we gather was more compelling than the simple, but profound, statement concerning our mortality.

I.   We Are All Terminal

We are all terminal.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed.  Everyone will face death one day.  For some, death will come at a day and hour not expected, while others will receive the terminal diagnosis and have to take stock on how to live their remaining days.

The bible says in Job 14:1-2:

Mortals, born of woman, are of few days and full of trouble. They spring up like flowers and wither away; like fleeting shadows, they do not endure.

Likewise, the Psalmist in Ps. 90:12, prays:

So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Numbering our days and understanding that our mortal lives have a beginning and an end is a sobering practice that is a powerful tool in helping us gain perspective on what is important and what is not in this life.  Indeed, understanding the terminal diagnosis that we all have been given I believe is the key to discerning between what I want to do that is “good” versus what is “God” and His will for my life.   So many people struggle with what they should be doing with their lives and the will of God related thereto because they live under the assumption that they have a indefinite amount of time on this planet to figure it out; however, the reality is that tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone and that today, while it is still called today, is all the time we have to live life as it is now and not as we hope it would be.

Psalm 39:4-6 puts it this way:

4 Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. 5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure. 6 Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth without knowing whose it will finally be.

In 1 Peter Chapter 1, the Apostle Peter reminds us of what the prophet Isaiah said in Isaiah 40:6:

As for man, his days are like grass–he blooms like a flower of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall off, but the word of the Lord endures forever.

II.  The Bridge Between What Is Finite And What Is Eternal Is “Faith.”

As a church, we have recently been rethinking what faith is and what faith is not.  In summary, we have concluded that faith is not merely defined by “belief.”  Rather, faith is defined by a “person” – Jesus Christ – and everything that flows out of and from our relationship with Him.

Let’s briefly examine Hebrews 11:1 together:

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Let’s focus for a moment on the term “substance.”  In greek, the word used in this passage is “hypostasis” (See Strong’s G5287).   Most versions of the bible translate this greek word in this verse as “assurance” or “confidence” or conviction” or “substance.”   However, the greek word can also be translated as “person.”  For example, in Hebrews 1:3 “hypostasis” is translated as follows:

Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person (G5287) and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high

The implication from this translation of “hypostasis” is that Christ Jesus himself is the “substance” of our faith.  Therefore, “faith” properly understood should be defined as follows:

Now faith is the “person” we hope for or in, and the evidence of this person working in and through our lives.”

The evidence of our relationship with God is what scripture in Hebrews 11 calls “by faith” or “with faith.”  There is no faith without this divine relationship.  You can believe God, but not have faith. Belief alone does not result in faith.  Belief that flows from relationship with God results in faith.  You can do good things, but not have faith. However, everything we do that flows from our relationship with Christ is called “faith” or “by faith” or “with faith.”

Every example of faith we are given in Hebrews Chapter 11 involves a person who had a relationship with God and through this relationship something happened in their lives which the scripture calls “faith.”

  • For with faith the elders obtained a good testimony.”
  • By faith, Abel . . .
  • By faith, Enoch . . .
  • By faith, Noah . . .
  • By faith, Abraham . . .

Each of these people are witnesses concerning God’s will and desire to have a relationship with us.  Each of these witnesses provide us with a unique insight into the results of our relationship with God.   [We will be taking a closer look at these witnesses and what they have to teach us about “faith” over the coming weeks]

HOWEVER, IN THIS MESSAGE, I WANT TO FOCUS ON HOW FAITH CHANGES OUR PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE AND WHAT WE DO WITH THE TIME WE HAVE WHILE WE ARE “FLESH.”

III.  Finish Well 

Our relationship with Christ, which we call faith, will always lead us to “number our days” with anticipation that, although we must all one day die, we will also live.  (John 11:25)    We know from our relationship with Christ that while we live in this earthly tent,  as the Apostle Paul called our body, we have been given His life, we bear His image, and are given the authority to proclaim His Kingdom; however, we are living for so much more than what this life and what this world in which we live have to offer.

Consider Hebrews 11:13-16:

13 All these died in faith [they died in Christ while in relationship with Him], without receiving the promises [that come from our relationship with Him], only having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.

14 Now those who say such things make it clear that they are looking for a country of their own.

15 And if they had been thinking of that country from which they departed [as their true home], they would have had [a continuing] opportunity to return.

16 But the truth is that they were longing for a better country, that is, a heavenly one. For that reason God is not ashamed [of them or] to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.

After reflecting on this passage, let’s consider the following hypothetical (adapted from Ken Boa’s “Re-writing Your Broken Story”):

  • Suppose you go in for a routine physical examination and you’re told by your doctor that you have an illness that is not palpable or evident to you but that will be terminal.
  • You’ve got about a year (or maybe less) to live. You go to two other physicians, and they confirm the diagnosis.
  • There won’t be any really obvious effects until the disease reaches its final stages, but you will surely die within a year.
  • Now, ask yourself these questions:
  1. How would this diagnosis affect your vision of life?
  2. How would it affect your view of your roles on earth? (friend, parent, daughter, son)
  3. How would it affect the way you invest your money and time?
  • Clearly, such a realization that we have so little time could have a huge impact on us.  But understand this: the degree to which it would alter your present perspective and practice is the degree to which your current view of life and the biblical view of life diverge.  The distance between your current view of life and the biblical view of life is the degree to which you would expect this announcement to have changed your whole perspective and practice in the world.  Your vision of life ought to be the same, whether you have one day or thirty years to live.
  • None of us know that we have even a year. We can’t presume on the future. We can’t control one day.
  • And so we ought to treasure the opportunities of the present by enhancing the roles we play by serving other people and investing our money and time wisely and well, viewing our service to the people in our lives as service to Christ himself.
  • Only two things will last forever: God’s Word and people.  We would be wise to invest one into the other, making sure that the remaining days of our stay on this planet have optimal impact and lasting consequences on the lives of other people, leveraging the wealth of this world for eternal gain.  That is living from an eternal perspective; that is investing in our eternal future.”

I have prayed and thought a lot about my own personal answers to the foregoing questions.   In considering the questions presented by our terminal condition, I responded to my Lord in a conversation about these questions by stating that I would like to live the remainder of my days, however many those days may be, with the conviction that I want to finish this life well.  This means that with all that I am and all that I have been given I am asking God to lead me and guide me to my last day having cared for and completed everything He gave me in a way that pleases Him, brings Him honor, and gives Him glory.

The Apostle Paul expressed it this way to Timothy:

For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. From now on the crown of righteousness is laid up for me, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but to all who crave His appearing.…

2 Tim. 6-8.

In Acts 20:24, he repeats this conviction by stating, “But I consider my life of no value to myself, if only I may finish my course and complete the ministry I have received from the Lord Jesus–the ministry of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.”

The Apostle Paul also exhorts you and I in the same way:

  • 1 Corinthians 9:24, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way as to take the prize.”
  • 1 Timothy 6:12, “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made the good confession before many witnesses.”

IV.  Sunday Morning Gatherings

Take a personal inventory of your relationships, responsibilities and resources.  Consider for yourself what a terminal diagnosis means for your relationships, responsibilities and resources.  As you pray through and consider how the Holy Spirit of our Lord may lead you and guide you in these last days of your life, please consider, “How does a Christ-centered vision for the life we have been given impact what we do when we come together on Sunday morning?”

Again, if we only have one year to live, how does that impact how we spend Sunday mornings together.

If we only had 52 Sundays together, no more and no less, what would those Sundays look like?

What would we do in our fellowship together on Sundays that would bring joy to our Lord?

What would we do in our fellowship together on Sundays that would encourage, edify, and support one another?

How would our fellowship together on Sundays impact the way we love our Lord, love one another, and all those he gives us to love and serve each week?

I have been given the privilege and the responsibility to lead this gathering of Christ followers every Sunday as we come together in fellowship with our Lord. I NEED YOUR HELP TO ANSWER THE QUESTIONS CONCERNING OUR TIME TOGETHER ON SUNDAY MORNINGS.  I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE.

In response to this message, some of you may determine that you should not be here for one reason or another.  That is to say, if you only had a year to live, you would not spend Sunday mornings with us.  THAT IS OKAY.  You have freedom to reach that conclusion.

For everyone else, let’s pray-fully, “number our days” together and gain wisdom as to what our time together will hold.

Seeing Life In Death (First Blog)

Good evening –

While I have never “blogged” before, I am a person who journal’s frequently and generally likes to write when I have something to say.  I would like to dedicate this first blog to Rory Idler who was a friend that was killed several weeks ago in a car accident in North Dakota.  Rory and I became friends through his mother and father, Randy and Patty.  They are virtually family and have lived a lot of life with us over the past twenty years or more.  Over the past year or so, we have spent a lot more time together than usual because they have been attending our Tuesday night bible study.

When Rory died, Patty and Randy invited me to deliver what Patty titled, “The Word of God.” I had never seen anyone put that in a funeral service before, but I knew it was right and true to what God would have me do and say in support of the Idler’s as we all grieved the loss of Rory.  In this regard, as I prayed, God made it clear to me that he would like to speak at Rory’s funeral service to deliver a message of hope in the midst of tremendous grief and that he would like to use my mouth to do so.  What follows is the message that I delivered.  I pray it brings you – the reader – hope in the midst of grief.  In a day and time when we are bombarded with stories of death, disease, murder and terror, I pray these words will provide some comfort and allow you to see life in death.

Rory’s Memorial, March 30, 2013

Living Letters

¨ “Clearly, you are a letter from Christ (“a living epistle!”) showing the result of our ministry among you. This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.”         – 2 Cor. 3:3 (New Living Translation) Stated another way, “Only God can write such a letter. . . . The plan wasn’t written out with ink on paper, with pages and pages of legal footnotes, killing your spirit. It’s written with Spirit on spirit, his life on our lives!”[1]

Ever since my brother died at 13 years of age due to a freak accident while playing on a tire-swing several years ago, whenever I reflect on a person’s life, I always ask God to show me the message of that person’s life.  That is, “God speak to me about this life.  What is your message?   Understanding God’s reasons for taking the people we love and understanding the “why” in the circumstances by which he allows our loved ones to be taken is too difficult for my mind to fathom and comprehend.  However, I have learned over the years that focusing on God’s message in a person’s life brings great clarity about God’s eternal purposes for you and I and those he gives us to share this life with for however long he gives them to us.

Consider Jesus’ death and resurrection, especially the day before the resurrection.   Arguably this was the darkest day in human history given the fact that the Son of God had been murdered and, with His murder, humanity’s only hope to receive the love of God was destroyed.  Can you imagine how Jesus’s followers must have felt that Saturday?  Peter had denied the Lord and was likely being haunted by the words he had spoke and his weakness.  All the disciples were scattered, hiding and confused.  Each and every one of them had forgotten the Word and the Promise that Jesus would overcome death on the third day.

However, the hope that sprung from Jesus’s resurrection is a reminder that life has greater value than what we now experience or can even imagine.  In some ways, this life is really the “Preface” or “Introduction” to the book God calls eternity.  I don’t know about you, but I love reading preface and introduction to a good book because they give me great insight about the author of the book and what to expect in the chapters that follow.

Considering Rory’s unexpected death, will you pray this prayer with me?  “God, what is the message of Rory’s life?  What does his life reveal about who you are? What does the message of his life tell me about the chapters in your book of Eternity?”

Here is the message I received from Rory’s life

He was loved– and he knew it, he received it and he share it.

  • This love is a tribute to his parents who loved him unconditionally and with great zeal.  [One would be hard pressed to find two better parents to share God’s love with their children.]
  • This love is also a tribute to his friends and family. [sometimes when you look at the family and friends of people who are loved, like Rory, you can see their mirror image.]
  • This love is a tribute to our great God! He does not make mistakes.  The love he gave to Rory was not squandered, but freely shared with those who were lucky enough to know him.
  • This love now encompasses Rory in the fullness of God’s presence where the bible says in Rev. Chapter 21, God will wipe away every tear from our eyes and there shall be no more death, or sorrow, or crying, or pain!  Moreover, God says he will make all things new and that he will quench our thirst and satisfy our hunger.  “Salvation to our God who sits on the throne! And glory to the Lamb who was slain!”

This love produced:

  • Confidence – Rory was confident and bold.  The Bible says that those who come to him confidently give him pleasure and that the righteous enter his kingdom with the great boldness of their faith.  [Heb. 10:35]
  • Strength – Rory was a strong man and even now, Rory would encourage you, “The LORD [is] my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.”
  • Security – Rory was secure.  Even when he was uncertain or had questions about life, he had the shelter of love he was given from his parents, friends and family and God to cover him.  As the bible says in Ps. 91, “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, [He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”
  • Wisdom – Rory was wise and sought to grow in wisdom and understanding.  The was one of his greatest attributes.  Did you know that the book of Proverbs – the book associated with what it means to be wise – is addressed to “My son” 24 times.  To me , this book reads as  a love letter of sorts from King Solomon to his children.  However, what people don’t always understand about Proverbs was that it was written by a King who was remembering the words of his father who loved him and sharing his wisdom with his children.  Consider, Prov. 4:3-  , which states, “When I was my father’s son, Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother,  4  He also taught me, and said to me:  “Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live.   5 Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.  Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; Love her, and she will keep you.  7Wisdom is the principal thing;  Therefore get wisdom.  And in all your getting, get understanding.”[2]   Just as David passed on his wisdom to Solomon, I believe Rory’s wisdom was an inheritance he received from His Father, Randy.  Randy infused into both of his boys the desire to get wisdom and to get understanding.

Rory had conviction that came from strong values:

  • One way to measure what a person’s values are is to understand what occupies their thoughts and dreams when no one else is around.
  • Consider your idle time.  Where is the gaze of your heart and the preoccupation of your mind?
  • Rory’s heart and mind seemed occupied with something bigger than most, as was exemplified in a note he wrote to himself listening several immediate goals he had for his life.

Rory was Honest

  • Rory did not just want to settle for status quo or for antiquated expectations that people in the world tried to impose upon him.
  • The cry of his heart was, “There must be more! There must be more!”
  • Rory had the ability to do anything or be anything that he wanted to be, but he did not settle like some people.

Summary

As I reflect on Rory’s life, I have learned that the kingdom of God is about “being loved” and knowing that love and sharing that love.  Such love produces confidence, strength, security and wisdom.  These qualities will cause a person’s heart to gaze upon something and someone bigger, perhaps a city, perhaps a person in that city such that the mind will not settle for anything less than truth and authenticity.

Closing

Friends, ultimately, we must understand that everything in life has eternal purpose.  Indeed, like a stone mason, God chisles away at our lives to form us into the perfect shape as he builds his great home for us.  In this regard, the Bible says in 1 Peter 2:5, “you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”  Additionally, Jesus once said, “I go to prepare a place for you . . . and I will come again to receive you unto myself” that we might dwell together.” John 14:2-3

Therefore, if we know that even our greatest suffering and our most intense grief have the eternal purpose of preparing us to live in the presense of God forever so that we might glorify him and all of his amazing attributes, then days like today are not sad days at all.

50 I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51 Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— 52 in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

55      “Where, O death, is your victory?

Where, O death, is your sting?”

[1] Peterson, E. H. (2005). The Message: The Bible in contemporary language (2 Co 3:5–6). Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress.

[2] The New King James Version. 1982 (Pr 4:3–7). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

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